Black And Intelligent .

Being black and being intelligent can be deadly
Not physically but emotionally.

Often times I feel like I have to dumb myself down in order to keep from seeming stuck up or a MS. KNOW IT ALL. I often see my black brothers and sister who end up never amounting to
anything, and that's not where I want to be.

I am a young black girl who is happy being her. Happy being educated. Happy knowing that with a little bit of hard work, I can achieve the most high.

My own kind looks down on me because of this.

Because I want to rise above this chaos. Because I want to have a better life. I'm already left out because I appear to be too light. But what does it matter if my skin is of a butterscotch hue? Am I less of a black person? Am I unworthy of being with my own kind? So you see, I have it the worst. Due to my skin and my well spoken intellect.

At first I wanted to hide behind my ability to shift my swagger
And blend in with the quote on quote "Black" crew.
But now I've realized that I am no better or no less worthy to call myself black.

I am no longer afraid to be intelligent. I am no longer willing to hide me true self to satisfy someone's ego. I am going to be myself. A young girl who is now able to accept the fact that she is
BLACK AND INTELLIGENT.

gwen.

To: ALL The Women Of Blogger ...

"A capable, intelligent and virtuous woman, who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far ABOVE RUBIES or pearls."

Proverbs 31:10

pennanddpaperr.

Someone Had To Say It .

I love the black men of the world. ♥

The different shades of you. The different stances that you hold yet still so strong. You are a Picasso of a being. Misinterpreted, misunderstood, yet still so important and beautiful. You create smiles and frowns. Bring joy and pain. Wipe away tears and can cause them to rain. You take on the world and still get up the next day. A doctor, a lawyer, a surgeon, a president. Not just a athlete or statistic imprisoned. You stand for more than just a being you are a survivor, striver, a way maker. You perfectly compliment the beautiful black women that make brown love a story, a song, a movie. Step up and be who you are. Live up to your personal potential. Reach for the stars high in your sky's and expectations, disregard. We'll love you. Stand by you. Accept you. Understand that its hard for you not just because of who you are but all you represent.

one might, hundreds might, thousands might not but,


I love you black man. ♥

pennanddpaperr.

Lemme School Ya '

* from a complex intellectual whose blog you follow ( :

(i dont always talk about nonsense lol)

The writings on the wall hold all the evidence,our ancestors were God's and Our women were Goddesses, The rest of the world know's the truth and acknowledge it, except for the kings that act like niggaz in ignorance ,no diligence our Queens are called bitches but embrace the hate, and reject the correct teachings of the masters, but if the God's are niggaz why wouldn't the woman be bitches because MAAT isn't practiced ,so what's left is disaster that strikes the innocent of descendents who were kings and queens, and rightful custodian's of the Earth who were charged to keep IT clean, IT being the spiritual and physical and Universe, combining of the two to create an individual, who's viewed as a God from a reversed state of being, we have stooped so low to our present state of pleading, for jobs equal benefits, and air just to breath, smoke weed and abuse alcohol our mind we're never freeing, but freezing the growth of a righteous Form of Unity, that would truly bring back rightful forms of democracy, hypocrisy is practiced because no one even checks it, but the ancients kept a healthy surviving record of there message, so pop those books open, Act and stop hoping, because faith without works is dead and even the scripture teaches that, your so drained of your intellect you hate black and everything associated with the name, so you claim yourAmerican in fact, you've never been American you don't understand, you have no privileges like a European White Man, so you stand for nothing at all and fall short,because you stand alone, where Unity isn't involved the root of the movement is dethroned, so thank the Creator for making you strong, but the strength is within so what is taking so long, get back to where you Belong .

pennanddpaperr.

Slap That Nigga Back !

it has been forever since i have written something. geez what have i been doing with my life peeps? NOT A DAMN THING ! smh. todays subject ? hm theres so many.

thinking... thinking...

oh i got it ! something that made me almost spit out my fruit punch vitamin water.




there they were. a average Jody and a average Joe. a average pair. a regular couple. everything seemed to be alright between the two and neither deserved more than 5 seconds of attention but Jody herself received about 30 of mine. (she had on really cute shoes ( : as i sat and sipped, they mosied on to their car where they shared a kiss. she drops his hand to get in on her side of the car and Joe wipes his mouth and follows. he reaches her side of the car, grabs her by the shoulder and LITERALLY SLAPS THE HELL OUT OF HER ! ... gasp ! ...


what happens next !!!!? I'm getting there, I'm getting there.


after she quits seeing splotches and colors and shit she starts to cry. no why?, no crazy look, no WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!! seemingly apologetic for getting the shit slapped out of herself.


ooh wee ! -clenches fist and rocks back and forth in seat-


Joe has walked back to his side of the car. unnerved that his gf/wife/fiance/side chick whatever could be blacking out or shit! have a damn concussion with that supreme pimp slap he landed on home girl, and is getting into the car. she is trying to talk to him but he pushes her, closes his door and proceeds to back the hell up and bounce ! poor Jody, there she was looking lost. like she got mugged, lost her puppy, and got dumped all in the same day. she walks over to where I'm sitting.

yal, i ain't say a damn thing because you cant just get in anybodies business these days and sometimes folks don't know how to react to being helped. plus if my ass had just been slapped across the parking lot i would be trying to be invisible. psh.

she looks over at me, i can see her looking out of my peripheral, attempts to say something then stops short and says nothing.

okay, maybe shes not ready. lets try again.

another look, and finally "do you have cigarette?"

a cigarette? i guess she needed something to calm them nerves.

"nah sorry i don't smoke. i have some gum though."

lol wtf was i thinking? gum? what was she going to do, inhale the spearmint on the wrapper! smh.

she replies "no thanks" and continues to try nursing her very obvious bruise.


GODDAMN ! i wish i had took a picture !


i wasn't able to hold my tongue for much longer and i started to talk to her. she told me about Joe, how he has been "the love of her life" for the past TWO ABUSIVE years. how hes 4 years older than her and her moms always had a "feeling" about him.

bet she wish she would've listened now. hmph.

how he had cheated on her twice and always begged to come back. to be better for her and there 1 year old little girl. how she moved from her home state with him for his job relocation. how she has no friends and cant have anyone in the house because hes jealous AND how that was her car that he smashed off with.


no offense but if i was just reading what i wrote i would think sista girl was white but NOPE ! she was a sistah.

waaaaaaaahtt?

i know abuse has no race but alot of times white girls take that abuse shit like a champ. usually a sister would clock a nigga back or hell call "pookie and dem" and get the shit popping but here was this poor little black girl lost without a pot or a window. smh.


i asked her where her daughter was and she said daycare. she breaks down crying about how she just wants to go home. how he can have whatever is in the house, the car, the money in the accounts but just wants to go home. some real Tina Turner shit, yal. so i take her to get her baby AFTER buying Jody a jacket. it was cold as hell outside. and wait with them both at grey hound. i buy her a ticket, gave her my number and some money, and wished her luck. she gets on the bus and all i can hope is that she takes this experience as a lesson learned and uses it as motivation to better herself and her daughters life. (super cute little girl)


NOW...


i know it has got to be hard dealing with a man whooping your ass. in fact, i know it is. i have been abused before and its no picnic but it took me ONE time to get my ass up and leave. to sit there and have some sick ass person hit me because they cant control their emotions is ridiculous. it actually makes me think of the Chris Brown and Rihanna situation. everybody made the situation into some huge thing when from many reliable sources, it wasn't the first time. now wtf is her problem? shes pretty, rich, solid career, seems to be a good person despite her darkening appearance, and has spoken multiple times about how supportive and loving her family is; so what took you so long to call the police? are you really that desperate? that lonely? that insecure? its only going to take a normal person a couple times to get tired of that meaningless word sorry before it clicks that this nigga ain't sorry. this nigga need some help ! but there they are. thousands of women making excuses, living lies, and feeling god knows how many emotions to where they don't want to get out of bed let alone look at themselves in the mirror. bitch, can you get a blunt/drink/pack of cigarettes, pick your poison and slap the share my world Mary J album and watch waiting to exhale!


maybe I'm coming off a little harsh, FUCK YOU ! I'm just blunt and straightforward ! but fareal, i sympathize with any woman that has faced a abusive time in their lives and i commend those that have came out of it stronger and wiser but it should not take a person having to put their hands on you for you to see the light or should theyre be some little person; child, involved for you to want to get out. many would say its a process and hey, whatever you say. you wouldnt sit there and consistentaly burn yourself knowing its going to hurt. why let somone use you as their personal punching bag knowing that shit aint no type of turn on. life is precious and its not to be taken for granted.

and after saying that,

fuck the physical attachments; the sex cant be that good and the nigga that fine. fuck the emotional attachments; love isn't suppose to hurt. and SUPER fuck that nigga for even thinking hes of any other sex besides BITCH because REAL MEN dont hit women.

now, GET YOUR ASS UP AND LEAVE !


pennanddpaperr.

Can All The Real Women Please Stand Up .

Madd Shout Out To My Girl Robyn Latice !!!
faithful follower, awesome blogger, and just dope ass female . (rare)


"Thanks for the award love. !! " ( : FOLLOW HER !!



aite getting to the blogging point ... speaking of getting to the point, i love that song by Marques Houston and Tank. AND Marques Houston and new wife look really cute together. ♥

but yea ... lol

these last few days i have come to the realization that bitches ain't shit. geez Gwen are you just now realizing this? nah. not at all. i just don't usually "go with the crowd" on topics like this, or topics in general until i can speak from experience. but like i said, these last few days have definitely made me a believer. Ive come in contact with two or three ignorant bitches in my time and even had to literally slap the shit out of a couple BUT, i never just felt the need to say the words, bitches ain't shit because in my personal opinion all females aren't bitches AND not every female is the same.

bitch is the new "nigga" . alot of females play around and call their other female friends this word and are quick to jump mad when they are called the same by the opposite sex or another female. while some females call themselves this word like its what their mamas named them, others refrain from it considering it offensive. why everybody feels the need to be the "baddest bitch" i have no idea but hey! whatever floats their boats. my point is, there are women who have "bitchy" tendencies and then there are some REAL BITCHES ! them brawds that are better suited for dog houses instead of real houses.

there is a HUGE problem when people from the same sex cant be friends because of the immaturity, ignorance, and plain cattiness that is shown effortlessly almost immediately between females. its always he said/she said, pointing of the finger, and fighting IF its not just a bunch of "barking" that usually ends in people wanting to apolo"lie" because in due time, its guaranteed to happen all over and that apology wont mean a damn thing. what is the problem? why are we giving men a reason to shake their heads at us and call us bitches and say with a straight face that we ain't shit. when have guys ever quit kicking it with other guys because of petty nothing ? never. they know how to squash shit not harbor it. females don't even hang with females. waht the hell ? what happen to girl power and sticking together. have we all forgotten how precious we are and how the world needs us. not to mention the way we should respect and love ourselves regardless of anybody else doing the same. we are the givers of life, the role models for future generations, the gift god created for man, the independent strong woman in every single family household. we couldn't even do the damn right thing back when God created us. Eve just had to eat from that flippin tree ! greedy bitch ! see what i mean. even a young woman has to call another woman a bitch from time to time. pathetic. not me, no. not you, if you ever just had to say it, because sometimes it really does have to be said BUT the fact that we all have really came across one or two or ten! that have really just needed to be called one. so what do we do? we get our shit together. quit expecting every nigga to pay our bills and buy us our hearts desire because of what we are giving them in between our legs. every female has it and there will always be someone out there just aiming to please a nigga only to keep him. if i was a dude and i could get a whole lot of something for nothing, i would be on it. psh, and they all love you when they feeling good. go out and get a job, go to school or back to school, work on having your own car, your own place, your own everything. you will appreciate it more and those are things nobody can take from you unless you let them. we have to quit making guys are number one priorities and focus on loving ourselves. really getting to know our strengths and weaknesses, taking better care of our bodies and minds, reading books, art, studying different cultures, treating our bodies like the temples they are, quit belittling ourselves and lowering our standards and expectations for the men we get involved with because we want somebody. key word : WANT. we don't need them. every man wants and needs a GOOD WOMAN just like we want and need GOOD MEN in our lives. fuck the practice losers, when we find HIM we will know in our hearts and automatically know what to do to keep him and get him because we are intelligent people. too many times women are looking for men and just people to validate them, why ? if you cant look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful flaws and all and that you love you, you definitely don't need anyone.(read my Perfection blog) and also, REAL IMPORTANT ! we have got to quit blaming every guy for the last ones mistakes ! i cant stress this enough ladies. it is okay to be a little guarded and skeptical because you have a right to know what you are getting yourself into but, you cant forever try making every guy that comes along pay for some loser that isn't thinking shit about what he did and damn sure ain't having a hard time moving on. not every guy is the same just like every woman isn't the same. we have got to be confident in ourselves that way we wont be so insecure with future relationships. be real, sometimes its not what he said or did that made you quit talking to him its the fact that for that split second he reminded you of the last dude and you got scared. its cool. we have all been there but we have got to quit or we'll end up losing out.

now after saying all that, i stand up and applaud ALL the REAL independent women in the world. that really are doing it for themselves and rolling with the punches and coming out smiling. i know i have two of the strongest, intelligent, beautiful, African American queens in my life that are the true definition of independent, classy women. they set great examples and i am so so so blessed to call them my sister and mother. because of them i am forever working at becoming a better woman. ♥

pennanddpaper .

Perfection . ( a breakdown of oneself )

I'm not perfect . i don't claim to be . and if i had the choice i wouldn't want to be . in fact, if you know me or ever get the chance, you will see that you couldn't even list any of the letters in my name! in that category lol . i feel as though women are honest about what they want to be honest about and that's cool, but me i gotta keep it real "breh" and on this post, I'm letting down my hair . ( figuratively. my hair is short lol )

• My Hair

used to be "bangin" or really long, and naturally curly . in fact many loved my hair and never failed to mention it or how they wished they possesed the same . cool, thanks. but i got sick and tired of being defined by it. guys " id love to pull on it ." really, was that suppose to make me want you ? girls " omg ! i love your hair . i wish my hair was like that. " why ? be happy with what you have . i think people put to much emphasis on what "good hair" is and it can really become ridiculously time consuming to everyday try looking like everybody else. your hair is naturally curly, why are you spending hours straightening it. your hair is straight, why are you buying loads of hair products and a diffuser to get it curly. now I'm not saying don't switch it up sometime, hey we all need a change, and im definately one ALL for change. I'm saying be happy with what you have and don't put so much emphasis on what you don't. if you have "nappy", long, short, curly, straight, frizzy, whatever kind of hair work it ! its yours and you are beautiful . : )

• My Head

me being mixed with everything under the sun, 12 nationalities, and one being part Samoan i have a big head. yes, i can admit it. my head is round, wide, and with a point to my chin. ( Kat Deluna facial structure. ) i grew up with people calling me names like big head and water head. even my nephew still cracks jokes about my head to this day, but its all good. i love my big head. its filled with knowledge, great memories, amazing ideas, endless stories, and poetry that comes to life. i have a heart shaped face. the face of love .

• My Eczema

as i have matured from a little girl to a young woman i have always battled eczema. i have had it on the back of my neck, the inner bend of my elbows, and around my mouth. the outbreaks i would get on the back of my neck and inner bend of my elbows came and went fairly unnoticed but the eczema around my mouth was just awful. when i was younger i didn't know how to care for it properly and me being very young and active, my mom couldn't keep up with me long enough to try to either lol. when i reached 6th grade and on up through middle school i got picked on and teased. i would cry about it and ask god to please just take it away. it was hard to deal with and it caused me alot of pain and discomfort both physically and emotionally. it also left me with alot of self esteem issues about my appearance. leaving dark discoloration on the top of my lip and the two corners. now at 18 it is has cleared up substantially but i still live in fear of it coming back so i make sure to apply cortizone cream 2 to 3 times a day.

• My Body

I'm not one of those skinny, salad chomping chicks that fit in size 3 jeans and small shirts. not knocking salads because i love em ! or "petite" woman. please dont try making this about you because i am in no way attacking you guys . ♥ . i eat. i love to eat ! and i don't appreciate men that can call me fat or any other woman fat because we're not model size. i have curves. i have hips. i have breasts. and i have booty. 36-28-36 thank you. and anybody that is in the "thick" or "curvy" category should know its not exactly easy to keep the shape, especially if you want it to look good. a few too many good meals and no exercise or activity will have you floating between "thick" and a question mark .

i grew up not understanding that i was womanly before my time and hating my body because it developed quicker than the other girls my age. i hate hearing younger girls that are battling eating disorders and personal image issues because of what their friends look like or what society is pushing as "normal ." sweetheart its NOT normal to kill yourself to become a size that your not meant to be let alone will ever achieve because its not in your genetic makeup. learn to love and be happy with yourself. there is always gong to be somebody smaller and bigger than you.

• My Toes

i like to think i have nice feet. not gorgeous or foot model kina feet but presentable pretty feet with cute toes. BUT i do have one *perfection. my big toes. there not exactly small and there not exactly in proportion to my other toes but i still wear sandals, my peep toe stilettos, and always running around barefoot because my imperfections are what i love so much about myself. i mean what is a bigger big toe compared to a beautiful personality? its not ginormous ! lol so don't think that but it is a *perfection.

• My Teeth

ever since i was younger my teeth have always been short and small. my family have been quoted saying " for the longest we never thought your teeth was going to grow. they just looked like somebody sawed them off " lol geez tell me how you really feel guys ! i don't have any chipped teeth or missing teeth but i do have a few small spaces between my teeth and they are still "little" but i still smile big, laugh loud, and carry on conversations like its nobodys business . : D

• My Lips

aren't tiny or small. they are full and proportioned with 3 or 4 beauty marks on them. i dont have lips for pecks. i have lips for kisses. deep, passionate, hold my face type of kisses. people have and probably do laugh and talk about them but I'm one of many who don't need collagen injections. so who laughs now ? : )

so yea, here are some of my *perfections . we are all human, no one of us alike and it was about time somebody stepped up and told the truth . so evaluate yourself and pick out the things that just need a little more love than others. ♥

pennanddpaperr .