Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you..
As much as I love to blog , I only do it because I don't have a life . Because I don't have any friends . Because I don't have the excitement or lifestyle I can only dream of and crave night and day for... This isn't depression or a cry out for help . This is me being real and telling it JUST like it is .
You ride solo because in this world you are proven by unworthy people that you cannot trust , you cannot believe, you cannot share too much . It becomes your motto , the words in which you live by and before you know it you're alone . Living the true definition of independent ...
I once was popular . I was 'her'. I lived the life that put me on a pedastal and introduced me to a lifestyle that most praised me and hated me for at the same time . I was your friend, someone that you said hi to just to say you've associated with, or you hated me . I was happy . Content for the most part . Felt no need to change any of this but inside I was slowly being swallowed up by a image that I was uncertain I wanted to live by any longer .
So I did what I had to . Exposed the fake around me and quit letting peoples expectations rule me . I was now on MY path and I was prepared to hand pick my friends so you wouldn't catch me around bad company disrupting my good moral's unless it was by choice . Deep down I was more than this person so many people thought . I had passion , purpose , a voice that needed to be heard . I didn't need a crowd to tell me who I was or recognize me . I was prepared to be who I was and stand with who had proven themselves loyal .
They say your lucky if you find atleast one good friend . That will be there through it all . And while I sometimes tire of the companionship of books , exhausting workouts , time consuming all night study sessions , and everyday routine of the workplace i know educating myself , depending on myself , and being able to really trust someone , even if its only one is a blessing . Stands taller and stronger than hitting the clubs every night , gossiping and backstabbing , and degrading myself for a little worthless male attention .
When I long to be any place but here , to have more than what and who I have , I have to humble myself . I am at a young age and can see the bigger picture already . So many just sit idle and expect the world to give them something they feel they're entitled to and I was once ignorant of this . But sometimes growing up isn't enough . You have to be an adult .
So thank you Lord for giving me what in the begining of my rant seemed like nothing . For without you guiding my way I would know the true meaning of that word .
Dear Therapist: 001
5 months ago