As much as I love to blog , I only do it because I don't have a life . Because I don't have any friends . Because I don't have the excitement or lifestyle I can only dream of and crave night and day for... This isn't depression or a cry out for help . This is me being real and telling it JUST like it is .
You ride solo because in this world you are proven by unworthy people that you cannot trust , you cannot believe, you cannot share too much . It becomes your motto , the words in which you live by and before you know it you're alone . Living the true definition of independent ...
I once was popular . I was 'her'. I lived the life that put me on a pedastal and introduced me to a lifestyle that most praised me and hated me for at the same time . I was your friend, someone that you said hi to just to say you've associated with, or you hated me . I was happy . Content for the most part . Felt no need to change any of this but inside I was slowly being swallowed up by a image that I was uncertain I wanted to live by any longer .
So I did what I had to . Exposed the fake around me and quit letting peoples expectations rule me . I was now on MY path and I was prepared to hand pick my friends so you wouldn't catch me around bad company disrupting my good moral's unless it was by choice . Deep down I was more than this person so many people thought . I had passion , purpose , a voice that needed to be heard . I didn't need a crowd to tell me who I was or recognize me . I was prepared to be who I was and stand with who had proven themselves loyal .
They say your lucky if you find atleast one good friend . That will be there through it all . And while I sometimes tire of the companionship of books , exhausting workouts , time consuming all night study sessions , and everyday routine of the workplace i know educating myself , depending on myself , and being able to really trust someone , even if its only one is a blessing . Stands taller and stronger than hitting the clubs every night , gossiping and backstabbing , and degrading myself for a little worthless male attention .
When I long to be any place but here , to have more than what and who I have , I have to humble myself . I am at a young age and can see the bigger picture already . So many just sit idle and expect the world to give them something they feel they're entitled to and I was once ignorant of this . But sometimes growing up isn't enough . You have to be an adult .
So thank you Lord for giving me what in the begining of my rant seemed like nothing . For without you guiding my way I would know the true meaning of that word .
pennanddpaperr.
Thanks Don; ♥
3 comments:
wow. It felt as if you took the words from my head or sum'n. Very well put together..I ♥ your blog!!
Very well stated.
I too feel that I've seen the bigger picture way beyond my years. I have been very fortunate to be blessed with true friendships...however an outlet such as this is invaluable. We may not be "friends" but to share ones TRUE thoughts is something even the closest friends never do.
Keep doing you. Loves iT!
i can relate 110% i too have no life besides school which is why i took up blogging. friends? ha. i've always been introverted but still had my "crew" until a chain of events opened my eyes and i accepted that the only person i can depend on/trust is me so i cut them all off. preach on honey, preach on!
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