It took me exactly seventeen minutes from the time I woke up to now, for me to be sprawled out on my bed in petulance !
*rolls over and furiously types* that was a good opening line.
Why must she get under my skin like this?! In the most woah!-where-did-that-come-from! way . On what was starting off as a very good day...
*plays with her belly ring, closes eyes and let's the mental recap take over*
"What are you doing?"
*profusely enthralled with something on her Blackberry*
One word, "Facebook."
"Why aren't you dressed?"
*pauses from writing on Anthony's wall and thinks 'look lady, I let the first dumb question you asked go. Must you keep testing my patience.'
More subtle tone, "I've decided not to wash. I need to shower and do some personal things, but no worries me and Karen made a arrangement."
*LaDaDa back to FB*
Then it happens. Black Girl Syndrome kicks in. She shifts her weight to one leg, which causes her arms to cross, a penetrating stare of the eyes, and a finale of pursed lips.
*looks over Blackberry.*
"How are you going to expect someone else to wash your dirty clothes. That I'm not dirty, my clothes aren't this dirty you speak of. Dirty... That's such a dirty sounding word is just unacceptable Sparkle my nickname you should have been up so you could go wash them. maybe I would have if someone hadn't just woke me up to get them ready ohhh FOUR MINUTES AGO ! WHILE YOU BOTH ARE FRESH, DRESSED, AND READY TO GO ALREADY ! *chest heaves up and down* your an adult." swell, today I'm a adult! -_- can we keep the memos coming daily so I'll know everyday what you'll be treating me as.
a three minutes tussle and here I am. on a bed with no sheets or comforter, after a door slammed, and six very fast paces back and forth.
*opens eyes and hears the voices outside of her door. sigh. Gets up and reaches for the door knob . Stops short. Turns around and starts to pace.*
- inner back and forth -
If she just wouldn't nag so damn much !... Or maybe if you didn't procrastinate so much... No! If she wouldn't be so anal about things... Or if you were more serious about things... She needs to back off and quit attacking !... You're just defensive... She always has to tell me what to do!... You never want to be told what to do...
*stops and sits on the floor. rubs temples. deep breath, slow release*
Let's be adults about this. Is this anything out of the normal for us? no. Will it blow over? As soon as she says 'Sparkle could've came. we was at the house long enough for her to take a shower' which she will say sometime between the car ride and when she's getting tired of washing. then my sister will ride in *galloping hooves* like the fair maiden she is. long brown hair flowing and shield held high on a white stallion and save the day !
A exaggerated daydream and thirty minutes of cardio later ...
*reclines in La-Z-Boy with arms behind her head.* I've decided to forgive her. People make mistakes. We're human. I'll just clean my room. procrastinated for one OR two weeks about that and be dressed to get my nails, brows, and feet done when she returns...
Okay who am I kidding ! I'll apologize. Along with all the above. After all I love my mommy even though she nags, doesn't always understand, and has O.C.D. *laughs to herself* I mean procrastination is probably going to be enough reason for me to want to kill my kid oneday too ! : )
Dear Therapist: 001
7 months ago